a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
