is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
