and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize