Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
