Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
