it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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