so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize