So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize