I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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