my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
