I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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