and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize