i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize