Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize