this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize