Kiss
Puke
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize