We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
