ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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