I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She said her name was "party"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
handjob tips. give me some.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
