He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize