let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize