Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
