Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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