I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
