help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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