Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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