Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
