Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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