I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
