do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
