We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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