3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So. Much. Porn.
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