Someone shit on the floor
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
