Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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