It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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