It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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