Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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