break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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