chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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