Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
