Got a toothbrush?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
