How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
