It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
