you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My life is pants optional.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
