The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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