Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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