I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My pussy is not your playground.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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