Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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