Plan B is the new Plan A
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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