You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
