And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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