Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
