There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
