but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize