Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
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