I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize